Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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