I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
