we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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