Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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