ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Ketchup is God's man juice
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
