Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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