went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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