worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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