Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
