Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
