i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
