His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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