if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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