Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
