I wish my penis had an off switch
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
