go do what you do best...puke behind churches
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
