How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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