If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
