I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i dont even know how to be here
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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