Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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