glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
