I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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