you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
