I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
