You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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