Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
