ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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