true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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