so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
