All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
