Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize