don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
