Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
