I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
