I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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