shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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