I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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