Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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