you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize