I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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