Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize