We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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