Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
