remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
