youre lurking in front of me
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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