she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
