I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
