Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
