Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
