It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Still dying that you shit outside
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
