i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
