i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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