honey bunches of taint.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
