my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Acid is not a monday night drug
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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