I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
