fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
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