My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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