Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Randomize
