i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
