Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
