he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Will exercising make me less horny?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
