remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
